Getting There

There is a commercial out right now for some drug for people with rheumatoid arthritis that says, “a body at motion will stay in motion, a body at rest will stay at rest.”  (Yes, I know this is based on Newton’s principle, you don’t need to tell me…)  This started playing about six weeks ago – or maybe I started paying attention? - and it just started sinking into my subconscious.  I am not an active person.  I mean, I do a lot, but I don’t work out….and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started feeling that lack of activity.  I’m fat by nature (and nurture), and working out always seemed like something I’d do later.   I’m also feeling how the weight is starting to affect my body – to not put too fine a point on it, it feels like it’s dragging my body down. 

“You know you can’t keep letting it get you down,

And you can’t keep dragging that dead weight around

Is it really all that much to lug around

Better run like hell when you hit the ground…”

This is not where I want to be when I turn 42 – which as of now, will be in about 10 months. 

And then I helped my friend Shane with a fundraiser he was doing for a local LGBT community center.   I helped to run a raffle, where he had tons of prizes, one being a massage and training session with his friend Auggie, who happens to be a personal trainer.  Auggie showed up for the event, and I started chatting with him  and I started entertaining the notion of possibly seeing a trainer.  Auggie has a great vibe and it occurred to me that it might not be awful to have someone like him for a trainer.   

So really, it’s like seeds just kept getting planted in my head.  “If not now, when?”  “Do you see yourself as a fat 60 year old?”  “Seriously, you’re going to kill yourself if you keep this up.”

Which led to me asking my girlfriend Angelica what her trainer costs her, as like so many things in life, it all comes down to money.  She has a sweet barter system with her trainer, so she said she’d talk to him about it.  And then I get a phone call from her trainer, Seth (who, as I continue to write in this blog, I can assure you will have so many nicknames, it will be funny), who is kinda quiet, but we set up a time for him to evaluate me.  

The gym where Angelica works out is a hike from my house – 15 miles.  And there are plenty of gyms near me, all with their own trainers.  But I decided what the hell.  The time came and I made the trek to more northern Phoenix.

Physiques’ Gym is not your standard gym.  First, it’s small.  Like, *really* small.  Two stairmasters, two treadmills, and the rest?  Weights, weight machines, and more weights.  And people are actively working out.  Music?  Hip hop and rap, which is just what you need to work out to keep you going.  Craig (the owner, who plays a significant role in this saga) runs a great shop.  

To say I was nervous is an understatement – but I tend to mask a lot of my nerves with laughter and sarcasm.  Seth comes over and introduces himself to me.  

I want to take a moment to describe Seth Thurston, my trainer.  Seth is, without a doubt, a beautiful, beautiful man-child.  I say man-child because he’s 21, and while I respect his adulthood, I don’t call him a man yet.  He’s blonde, has a great body (which I know he works for), flawless skin, and a smile that lights up his whole face.  He is, without a doubt, dreamy.  He’s also young.  Like, I’m old enough to be his mom young.  And that’s just kind of fun.  At first he was kinda quiet…now, he tolerates my lip and is starting to give it back.  He will simply point at something and go, “Do it” and funnily enough, I do it.  He’s encouraging, and is constantly correcting my form, which is (obviously) good for me.  He tolerates me telling him to fuck off (which happens from time to time) and takes my humor well.  But my favorite thing about Seth is when I do an exercise and he says, “good job” or “beautiful” in reference to my form and movement.  Yes.  I really AM a positive reinforcement whore.

So, back to Seth evaluating me.  Let’s talk time on a treadmill, which should be easy, no?  And for the most part, it was.  I mean, I’m fat, but I can walk.  But the constant brisk(er) pace did get my heart up.  And then Seth had me doing fun stuff.  You know, like squats.  Which I have a hard time with, as I always lean forward, never going straight down, because quite frankly, I’m scared my ass will drag me down….  And, my right knee bothers me from time to time, as it feels like it moves around and is just weak.  So I was squatting, favoring my right leg, which I’m sure looked funny.  And Seth just watches me.  And then on to arm work.  10 lbs. isn’t that heavy, right?  The first five reps, no.  Then?  Ugh.  Then, I hold out my arms with the weights in them and he presses down, telling me to push back.  Oh yeah, that went well.  And then back to squats, and back to arms, and can you see how this is going?  And then, hallelu, we are done.